Had a request to do a nice Tiger Woods rant. Little dated, but still can be fun. Thought I could make it one all by itself, but didnt have enough of stuff really. So I will turn this one into a celeb ass-ripping.
Tiger Woods - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING SON???? You were married to a SWEDISH BOMBSHELL!!!! And you threw it away for a fucking waitress at Perkin's!?!?!?! Tiger, I know you wanted to keep it secret and all, but damnnnnnn. Go find some nobody model or some hack singer and tear that up. At least you can hold some respect. You have what 10, 15, some say 50 mistresses???? REALLY!?!?! Nothing registered that is may be a little bit of overkill. There's a old saying that says how a sailor has a different woman in every port. You put the sailor's to shame my friend. Still love ya thought. Me and you are good. But now, good sir, you are no longer a Tiger. You a Cheeta. Get it!?!?!?!
Lindsay Lohan - PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN!!!!!!!! JESUS, you were a sex symbol. Every guy would have sold his house and car for 10 minutes with you, and now, I don't think you could give that wrecked flap of a thing you call a va-jay-jay. I rather put my stick in a vat of nuclear waste that also doubled as Susan Boyle's toilet.
Paris Hilton - DITTO!!!!!!! Well more for you is to put the drugs down. In a recent book, Paris told the author that she used to take her drugs and put them into a empty cigarette box, and then she would stick up in the hoo-hah, and get on to the flight!?!?!?!? REALLY?!?!?!?! Well you get points for thinking, I give you that. But if you can, on numerous occasion's do that, it's time to get some help sweetheart.
Brett Farve - WHY ARE YOU TEXING YOUR JUNK OUT TO WOMEN BRETT????????????? Your Brett F'ing Farve, you would have biotches all over you if you wanted. You have a MILF of a wife now in Deanna, WHY BRETT??? Now, plus this season your having, all I will remember of you is your last crap year, and hearing of your old junk being sent all over. Congrats Brett, Congrats
Going to add more to this very very soon.